How do you want to feel?
If there is one thing I have learned in life its that nothing remains the same….ever. Everything is in a constant state of transformation. We can choose to take charge of the process or let the process take charge of us. I was 52 when I decided to learn how to ride a motorcycle. The years leading up to that were some of the hardest years of my life and I needed a reprieve. The thought of riding a motorcycle I imagined a sense of freedom a sense of adventure and really tickled my free spirit nature. I bought my first moto before I had a clue how to ride one. I bought it from a guy in Tennessee and he delivered it all the way down to me in Asheville NC. After it was parked in the middle of my backyard, I just stared at it as if I needed it to somehow break the awkward silence for us. I walked around it a few times touching all the parts, all the bits and pieces having no clue what I was actually looking at, I was just getting to know it a little better. It wasn’t more than about 15 min before I put on my helmet and decided to make a go of it. I knew how to drive a stick shift car at that point which is a story in and of itself, so the idea of shifting wasn’t entirely foreign to me. I figured out where the throttle was, the brake and clutch, then I hopped on. I started off by just getting the bike to move forward and to stop it. I moved maybe 2-3 feet at a time. Once I got that down, I used a little gas. I was just in my backyard so there wasn’t a whole lot of space, but enough to do what I was doing. Eventually I started doing figure eights in first gear then stepped it up to move to second gear just doing the same figure eights over and over. After a few days of figure eights on repeat I opened the gate in my backyard to try my new skills on the gravel road behind my house. For a few more days I road back and forth up and down the alley getting up to third gear. My biggest fear was going on the actual road…with actual moving cars. I road around my neighborhood a few times but the neighborhood cats and kids playing in the street got a bit distracting. I retreated back to the alley. After I got the basic maneuvers down I felt I had accomplished something, but had no where near the sense of freedom I imagined. The fear was enormous! I knew that in order for me to have that sensation I longed for I had to figure out a way to overcome my fear without letting go of the very real fact that this wasn’t exactly a safe “sport”. There are loads of very real risks. I had all my gear, I had the basic knowledge of how to actually ride the bike, the only thing in my way to getting what I wanted, was me, was my fear.
Most of us can relate to the feeling of getting into a swimming pool at the beginning of summer when the water is “so cold” that we squirm, complain, and sometimes call it quits only to go back to the warmth of the sun. Then sometimes we just make the decision to dive right in. I was at that point where I just had to dive in. So I put on all of my gear feeling a bit like a poser who didn’t belong, got on my bike , rode it out of my backyard gates, down the gravel road and onto the main street with all the traffic, all the crazy drivers and just rode. I think I held my breath for the first 5 minutes and didn’t get out of second gear. But I did it, then I did it again the next day, then the next and almost everyday for the next month. I began exploring the gravel roads around the area, then found some single track then started meeting other people who rode and just enjoyed learning a new “thing” so much that I became enamored.
A few months back I did a solo cross-country trip. At one point, I may have been in South Dakota or Nebraska, I was going about 80 or 90 mph down this deserted back road and although I don’t remember where our paths met, I do remember noticing a train off in the distance. When the tracks and train were right next to me, parallel to the road, I got a little buzz of excitement. I began to race to the front car 90 then a hundred then 110 just wanting to get ahead of it for no reason other than it seemed fun. When I passed the front car the trains horn bellowed. A huge smile crossed my face and I laughed out loud. The sound of the train, my moto, the wind, and my thoughts all swirling around me were all echoing in the silence of my experience when I recognized that I found it. I found that feeling I had hoped to experience. Freedom and adventure all wrapped up in a free spirit.
If you had to ask yourself one question today perhaps ask yourself how do you want to feel?